Nurturing Children When They Are Hurting You.

Parenting is often described as one of life’s greatest joys, filled with love, laughter, and deep connections. But what happens when the bond between parent and child is tested by something far more challenging—when the child, the very one you’ve nurtured, begins to hurt you, either emotionally or physically? This situation is more common than many realize, and it leaves parents grappling with a difficult question: How do you continue to nurture a child who is causing you pain?

Understanding Child-on-Parent Violence

Child-on-parent violence (CPV) is a reality that many families face, though it’s rarely discussed openly. This form of aggression can manifest in various ways, from verbal outbursts and emotional manipulation to physical confrontations. The reasons behind this behaviour are complex and multifaceted.

However this behaviour makes you feel , it’s still important that you try to communicate , nurture and connect with your child .

Maintaining a relationship in Difficult Times

1. Separate the Behavior from the Child
   It’s essential to differentiate between your child and their actions. Understand that while their behavior is unacceptable, it doesn’t define them as a person. This mindset allows you to address the behavior while still showing love and support for your child. Reinforce that your love is unconditional, but there are boundaries that must be respected.

2. Set Clear Boundaries
   Nurturing does not mean allowing harmful behavior to continue unchecked. Establishing clear, consistent boundaries is crucial. Children need to understand that while their feelings are valid, their actions have consequences. Communicate these boundaries calmly and consistently, and follow through on any disciplinary measures. This not only helps manage the behavior but also provides a sense of security and structure for your child.

3. Model Healthy Emotional Responses
   By modelling healthy ways to manage anger, frustration, and disappointment, you teach your child valuable coping skills. Show them how to express their feelings through words rather than aggression, and encourage them to identify and name their emotions.

4. Prioritize Self-Care
   Parenting a child who is hurting you can be emotionally exhausting. It’s vital to prioritize your well-being so that you can remain patient, calm, and present for your child. Make time for activities that recharge you, whether that’s exercising, meditating, spending time with supportive friends, or engaging in a hobby. Don’t hesitate to seek professional support for yourself if needed.

5. Stay Connected

   Find ways to maintain a positive connection with your child. Engage in activities you both enjoy, spend time together, and express your love through words and actions. Building a strong, positive bond can help reduce feelings of resentment and foster mutual respect.

Do you feel like you’ve lost your child , maybe you don’t even want to spend time with them any more because of the pain you are experiencing , does the time you spend with your child always feel tense ? Why not give us a call and see how we can help you to reconnect with your child .

email - info@helptheparent.co.uk

Tel- 07938028112